Private Functions in a Family

Section 1.8. Of the Lawfulness of Private Functions in a Family.

Among other particular callings the apostle makes choice of those which God has settled in private families, and is accurate in reciting the several and distinct orders thereof, (for a family consists of these three orders—

1. Husbands and wives.

2. Parents and children.

3. Masters and servants.

all which he reckons up) yea he is also copious, and earnest in urging the duties which appertain to them. Whence we may well infer, that—

Private Duties of the Family Well Beseem Any Christian

Doctrine 2. The private vocations of a family, and functions appertaining thereto, are such as Christians are called unto by God, and in the exercising whereof, they may and must employ some part of their time. For can we think that the Holy Ghost (who, as the Philosophers speak of nature, does nothing in vain) would so distinctly set down these private duties, and so forcibly urge them, if they did not well become, and nearly concern Christians? All the places in scripture which require family-duties, are proofs of the truth of this doctrine.

The Family a Seminary

Reason 1. The reasons of this doctrine are clear, for the family is a seminary of the church and commonwealth. It is as a beehive, in which is the stock, and out of which are sent many swarms of bees: for in families are all sorts of people bred and brought up: and out of families are they lent into the church and commonwealth. The first beginning of mankind, and of his increase, was out of a family. For first did God join in marriage Adam and Eve, made them husband and wife, and then gave them children: so as husband and wife, parent and child, (which are parts of a family) were before magistrate and subject, minister and people, which are the parts of a commonwealth, and a church. When by the general deluge all public societies were destroyed, a family, even the family of Noah, was preferred, and out of it kingdoms and nations again raised. That great people of the Jews which could not be numbered for multitude, was raised out of the family of Abraham. Yea even to this day have all sorts of people come from families, and so shall to the end of the world. Whence it follows, that a conscionable performance of domestical and household duties, tend to the good ordering of church and commonwealth, as being means to fit and prepare men thereunto.

A Family is a Representation of Church and Commonwealth

Reason 2. Besides, a family is a little church, and a little commonwealth, at least a lively representation thereof, whereby trial may be made of such as are fit for any place of authority, or of subjection in church or commonwealth. Or rather it is as a school wherein the first principles and grounds of government and subjection are learned: whereby men are fitted to greater matters in church or commonwealth. Whereupon the apostle declares that a bishop that cannot rule his own house, is not fit to govern the church. [1 Tim 3:5] So we may say of inferiors that cannot be subject in a family; they will hardly be brought to yield such subjection as they ought in church or commonwealth: instance Absalom, and Adonijah, David's sons.

Private Callings in a Family Sufficient Callings

Use 1. This is to be noted for satisfaction of certain weak consciences, who think that if they have no public calling, they have no calling at all; and thereupon gather that all their time is spent without a calling. Which consequence if it were good and sound, what comfort in spending their time should most women have, who are not admitted to any public function in church or commonwealth? Or servants, children, and others who are wholly employed in private affairs of the family? But the forenamed doctrine shows the unsoundness of that consequence. Besides, who knows not that the preservation of families tends to the good of church and commonwealth? So as a conscionable performance of household duties, in regard of the end and fruit thereof, may be accounted a public work. Yea, if domestical duties be well and thoroughly performed, they will be even enough to take up a man's whole time. If a master of a family be also an husband of a wife, and a father of children, he shall find work enough: as by those particular duties, which we shall afterwards show to belong unto masters, husbands and parents, may easily be proved. So a wife likewise, if she also be a mother and a mistress, and faithfully endeavor to do what by virtue of those callings she is bound to do, shall find enough to do. As for children under the government of their parents, and servants in a family, their whole calling is to be obedient to their parents and masters, and to do what they command them in the Lord. Wherefore if they who have no public calling, be so much the more diligent in the functions of their private callings, they shall be as well accepted of the Lord, as if they had public offices.

Reproof of Such as Having No Public Office, Think Themselves Freed From All Duty.

God's Blessing on Men Diligent in Their Calling

Use 2. Yet many there be, who having no public employment, think they may spend their time as they list, either in idleness, or in following their vain pleasures and delights day after day, and so cast themselves out of all calling. Such are many masters of families who commit all the care of their house either to their wives, or to some servant, and misspend their whole time in idleness, riotousness, and voluptuousness. Such are many mistresses, who spend their time lying abed, attiring themselves, and gossiping. Such are many young gentlemen living in their fathers' houses, who partly through the too much indulgency and negligence of their parents, and partly through their own headstrong affections, and rebellious will, run without restraint whither their corrupt lusts lead them. These, and such other like to these, though by God's providence they be placed in callings, in warrantable callings, and in such callings as minister unto them matter enough of employment, yet make themselves to be of no calling. Now what blessing can they look for from the Lord? The Lord uses to give his blessing to men, while they are busied in their callings. Jacob's faithful service [Gen 31:42] to his uncle Laban moved God to bless him. Joseph's faithfulness to his master Potiphar [Gen 39:2] was had in rememberance with God, who advanced him to be ruler in Egypt. Moses [Exod 3:1-2] was keeping his father-in-law's sheep when God appeared to him in the bush, and appointed him a prince over his people. David [1 Sam 16:11] was sent for from the field, where he was keeping his father's sheep, when he was anointed to be king over Israel. Elisha [1 Kings 19:19] was plowing when he was anointed to be a prophet. The shepherds [Luke 2:8] were watching their sheep, when that gladsome tiding was brought to them, that the Savior of the world was born. Not to insist on any more particulars, the promise of God's protection is restrained to our callings: for the charge which God has given to the angels concerning man is, to keep him in all his ways. [Ps 91:11]

Public Callings May Not Hinder Private Duties

Use 3. As for those who have public offices in church or commonwealth, they may not thereupon think themselves exempted from all family-duties. These private duties are necessary duties. Though a man be a magistrate or a minister, yet if he be an husband, or a father, or a master, he may not neglect his wife, children, and servants. Indeed they who are freed from public functions, are bound to attend so much the more upon the private duties of their families, because they have more leisure thereunto. But none ought wholly to neglect them. Joshua, [Josh 24:15] who was a captain and prince of his people, and very much in public affairs, yet neglected not his family: for he professes that he and his house would serve the Lord. It seems that Eli [1 Sam 2:29 and 3:13] was negligent in performing the duty of a father, and David [1 King 1:6] also. But what follows thereupon? Two of Eli's sons proved sacrilegious, and lewd priests. Two of David's sons proved very ill commonwealths-men, even plain traitors.