1.80-81 Of Preferring Husband or Wife Before Parents

Section 1.80. Of Preferring Husband or Wife Before Parents.

The first point shows, that—

Doctrine. A wife, or an husband must be preferred before parents. The examples of Leah and Rachel, [Gen 31:14] yea and of Michal, [1 Sam 19:11] are commendable in this respect.

 Reason 1. The bond of marriage is more ancient, more firm, more near. There was husband and wife before there was parent and child: and there is a time when parents and children may depart one from another, and that while both live: but no time, wherein man and wife may part asunder till death part them. And children though they come from the flesh of their parents, yet are made two (so as of one are two) but husbands and wives though they were two before, yet are made one (so as of two is one).

Parents May Not Keep Their Children Being Married Too Straight

Use. What wrong then do such parents unto their children, as keep them, even after they are married, so strait under subjection, as they cannot freely perform such duty as they ought to their husband, or their wife? This is more than a parent's authority reaches unto. Yet many think that their children owe as much service to them after they are married as before: which is directly against this law.

Nor Keep Them From Husband or Wife

Greater is the wrong, and more sinful is the practice of such as keep their children from their husbands, or from their wives. The match (say they) falls out much worse than we looked for. But this should have been looked to more carefully beforehand. After marriage it is too late to seek such a redress.

Children May Not Prefer Their Parents Before Husband and Wife

On the other side, there be many children who so respect their parents, as they neglect their husband or their wife. Some husbands will bestow what they can on their parents, and keep their wives very bare, suffering them to want necessaries; not caring how they vex and grieve them so they please their parents. Some wives also will privily purloin from their husbands to bestow on their parents.

Others can never tarry out of their parents' houses, but as often as they can, go thither. The ancient Romans, to show how unmeet this was, had a custom to cover the bride's face with a yellow veil, and so soon as she was out of her father's house to turn her about and about, and so to carry her to the house of her husband, that she might not know the way to her father's house again. All those pretenses of love to parents are more preposterous than pious: and natural affection bears more sway in such, than true religion. Their pretence of piety to parents is no just excuse for that injury they do to husband and wife.

Section 1.81. Of the Firmness of the Matrimonial Bond.

The second point concerning the firmness of the marriage knot in these words shall be joined to his wife affords two doctrines.

1. Man and wife must associate themselves together by continual cohabitation: for this end they leave their parent's family, and erect a new family. [see Section 2b.14]

2. Man and wife are joined together by an inviolable bond. It must never be cut asunder till death cut it. Body and soul must be severed one from another before husband and wife. [see Section 2b.2]

Be careful therefore to preserve this indissoluble knot: and so live together, as with comfort you may live together, because you may not part.