1.53-56 Of the Application of the Things Which Christ Hath Done for the Church, unto Husbands & Self-Love Introduced

Section 1.53. Of the Application of the Things Which Christ Hath Done for the Church, unto Husbands.

Eph 5:28. So ought men to love their wives, etc.

The first clause of this verse serves both for an application of the former argument, and also for a transition to another argument.

The particle of relation so shows that that which has before been delivered of Christ's love to his church, ought to be referred and applied to husbands. For as Christ loved his church, So ought husbands to love their wives.

Question. Why are these transcendent evidences of Christ's surpassing love to his church set before husbands? can any such things be expected from husbands to their wives?

Answer. No, not for measure, but for likeness. [see Section 27] For in this large declaration of Christ's love, there are two general points to be noted.

1. That the church in herself was no way worthy of love.

2. That Christ so carried himself towards her that he made her worthy of much love.

This ought to be the mind of husbands to their wives.

1. Though they be no way worthy of love, yet they must love them.

2. They must endeavor with all the wit and wisdom they have, to make them worthy of love. I say endeavor because it is not simply in the husband's power to do the deed. Yet his faithful endeavor shall on his part be accepted for the deed.

Of these points I shall hereafter more fully speak.

Section 1.54. Of the Application of the Love Which a Man Bears to Himself, Unto an Husband.

Eph 5:28.—So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.

The forenamed particle so has also relation to another pattern, namely, of a man's self to his body: and so it is a transfixion from one argument to another.

There is some more emphasis here used in setting down an husband's duty, than was before. [Eph 5:25]

There it was laid down by way of exhortation, Husbands love your wives.

Here it is laid down with a straighter charge: Husbands ought to love their wives. So as this duty is not a matter arbitrary, left to the husband's will to do it, or leave it undone: there is a necessity laid upon him: he must love his wife. Woe therefore unto him if he do it not.

Why the Pattern of a Man's Self is Added to the Pattern of Christ

In setting down this argument taken from a man's self, the apostle resembles a man's wife unto his body: wherein he has relation to Eph 5:23 where he said, the husband is the head of the wife. Whereby he shows, that as an husband's place is a motive to his wife, for her to perform her duty: so to himself, for him to perform his duty.

He is her head, therefore she must be subject to him.

She is his body, therefore he must love her.

This example of a man's self is both a reason, the more to move husbands to love their wives, and also a rule to teach them how to love them.

The reason is implied under that near union that is between a man and his wife: she is as near to him as his own body: therefore she ought to be as dear to him. The body never dissents from itself, nor the soul against itself. So neither should man and wife.

The rule is noted under the manner of a man's loving his own body: as entirely as he loves his body, so entirely he ought to love his wife.

Of the manner of a man's loving himself, see Sections 4.74,76.

The more to enforce this comparison, the apostle adds, He that loveth his wife, loveth himself. [Eph 5:28]

By this clause two things are implied.

1. That a wife is not only as a man's body, namely, his outward flesh, but as his person, his body and soul. She is as his body, because she was taken out of his body: [Gen 2:23] and because she is set under him, as his body under his head. She is as himself, by reason of the bond of marriage, which makes one of two. [Matt 19:5-6] In which respect a wife is commonly called a man's second self.

2. That an husband in loving his wife loves himself: so as the benefit of loving his wife will redound to himself, as well as to his wife.

 Section 1.55. Of the Amplification of a Man's Love of Himself.

Eph 5:29—For no man ever yet hated his own flesh: but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.

The former pattern of a man's self is here further amplified. For first the apostle proves, that a man loves himself: and then he shows how he loves himself.

Two arguments are used to prove the point.

One is taken from the contrary: No man ever yet hated his own flesh. Therefore he loves it.

The other is taken from the effects of love: To nourish and cherish one's flesh is a fruit of love: But every man nourisheth and cherisheth his flesh. Therefore he loves it.

This latter argument shows the manner of a man's loving himself: and therein a man's love of himself is a rule to teach him how to love his wife.

This indefinite particle no man is to be restrained to such as have the understanding and affection of a man in them: as if he had said, no man in his right wits: for furious, frantic, mad, desperate persons will cut their arms, legs, and other parts, mangle their flesh, hang, drown, smother, choke, and stab themselves. Even so they are as men out of their wits, who hate, or any way hurt their wives: yea, it is the part of a mad man to doubt of loving, and doing good to himself.

These two words nourish and cherish comprise under them a careful providing of all things needful for a man's body.

To nourish, is properly to feed.

To cherish, is to keep warm.

The former is done by food: the latter by apparel. Under food, and apparel the apostle comprises all things needful for this life, where he says, Having food and raiment, let us therewith be content. [1 Tim 6:8]

This applied to an husband, shows that he ought to have a provident care for the good of his wife in all things needful for her. That he may yet further press this point, he returns again to the example of Christ (even as the Lord the church). The apostle thought that this nail of love had need be fast beaten into the heads and hearts of husbands, and therefore adds blow to blow to knock it up deep, even to the head: before he confirmed Christ's example with the example of ourselves: here he confirms the example of ourselves with the example of Christ again. This he does for two especial reasons—

1. The more forcibly to urge the point: for two examples add weight one to another: especially this latter which is so far more excellent as we heard out of Eph 5:25-27.

2. To give husbands a better direction for their providence towards their wives, whom they must nourish and cherish, not only as their bodies, but as Christ nourishes and cherishes his church, not only with things temporal, but also with things spiritual and eternal.

Section 1.56. Of Man's Natural Affections to Himself.

Eph 5:28-29.—So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies: he that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh: but nourishes, and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church.

Having briefly showed the general scope of the 28 and 29 verses, I will proceed to a more distinct handling of them.

They set forth The natural affection of a man to himself.

Two points are here to be noted.

1. The general proposition, that a man is well affected to himself.

2. The particular amplification, and manifestation of that affection.

This is manifested two ways.

1. Negatively, No man hateth his own flesh.

2. Affirmatively, and that in two branches—

1. Nourishes it.

2. Cherishes it.

Both these are justified by the like affection of Christ to the church which is his body (Even as the Lord the church). In that the apostle propounds the natural affection of a man's self to his body as a motive and pattern to Christians, to love their wives, and also justifies the same by a like affection of Christ to his church, I observe that—

Doctrine. Natural affection is a thing lawful and commendable: it is an affection which may stand with a good conscience: which God's word is so far from taking away, as it does establish it. For such as are without natural affection are directly condemned: [2 Tim 3:3] and we are commanded to be so kindly affectioned one to another as we are to ourselves. [Rom 12:10] Yea the law in the strict rigor thereof lays down that natural affection which is in a man to himself as a rule for the love of his neighbor (thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. [Matt 22:39]) Hence is it that the prophets, [Lev 19:18; Isa 58:7] apostles, [1 Cor 12:26; James 2:8] and Christ himself do often call upon us to have an eye to that affection which we bear to ourselves. Of this pattern Christ says, This is the law, and the prophets, [Matt 7:12] this is the brief sum of them, this is it which they do much urge and press.

Reason 1. Natural affection was at first created of God, by him planted in man, so that as soul, body, the powers, and parts of them, are in their substance good things, this affection also in itself is good.

Reason 2. There are the same reasons to love ourselves, as our brothers. For we ourselves are made after God's image, redeemed by Christ's blood, members of the same mythical body, keepers of ourselves, to give an account of the good or hurt we do to ourselves, with the like. In the law, under this word neighbor, ourselves are comprised: and every commandment of the second table is to be applied to ourselves.